“Right, be careful men — I just saw this fucker tear an SUV in two with his bare hands. This guy’s juiced up to the gills on those new alpha-roids. Always keep a gun aimed at him — those handcuffs may as well be made out of marshmallow for all the good they’ll do.”

“Um, Sheriff…”

“Spit it out, Jefferson.”

“You’re not going to like this. According to the labs, the suspect is Danny McBride of 164 Chestnut Drive.”

“The pastor’s shrimpy son? Are you sure? But he’s a fucking boy scout! I saw him yesterday helping an old lady cross the street. For Christ’s sake, his father was only complaining to me last week about Danny getting pushed around by a pair of 14-year-olds! You expect me to believe that the same boy is now that sneering musclehead, and he now likes to rip apart cash machines with his super-sized dick for kicks?”

“They’ve triple-checked it, sir. It’s definitely him.”

“Fine, fine. Chalk up another sweet innocent who’s been permanently turned into a hulking egotistical jerk. So young too. We’ve got to track down the mastermind behind all these transformations!”

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